INTENTIONAL SUCCESS VOL.14

ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY!

(Take control and don’t Blame others or Try to Justify your Errors!)

Weekly Motivation for 28^th December – 31^st December 2015 by Ndimofor Aretas

MERRY MERRYCHRISTMAS;

            I believe that from the last write – up, you were able to take wise decisions and you have probably seen or felt the positive impact of being responsible.

            In this write up, I will be giving you the more reason why you should take total control of not only your actions but your entire life!

            When you accept complete responsibility for your life, you take the giant step from childhood to adulthood.  It is usually a gradual process and in the case of students I will like you to take responsibility over your performance and success!

            A lot of negative emotions usually prevent us from achieving our goals or even setting goals for ourselves in the first place.  For example;

Many of us are still angry about something that one of their parents did or did not do to or for them a long time ago. We are trapped in the past and they can’t get free.

One of your most important goals, if you want to be truly happy and successful, is to

FREE YOURSELF FROM NEGATIVE EMOTIONS.

            The negative emotions of fear, self-pity, envy, jealousy, feelings of inferiority, and ultimately anger, are mostly caused by four factors. Once you identify and remove these factors from your thinking, your negative emotions stop automatically.

When your negative emotions stop, the positive emotions of love, peace, joy and enthusiasm flow in to replace them, and your whole life changes for the better, sometimes in a matter of minutes, or even seconds.

1)      The first of the four root causes of negative emotions is JUSTIFICATION.

-        You can only be negative as long as you can justify, to yourself and others, that you are entitled to be angry or upset for some reason.

-        This is why angry people are continually explaining and elaborating on the reasons for their negative feelings.

-        However, if you cannot justify your negativity, you cannot be angry.

SO STOP JUSTIFYING!

2)      The second cause of negative emotions is RATIONALIZATION.

-        When you rationalize, you attempt to give a “socially acceptable explanation for an otherwise socially unacceptable act.” 

-        You excuse your behaviour or actions by creating an explanation that sounds good, even though you know that you were an active agent in whatever occurred.

-        You often create complex ways of putting yourself in the right by explaining that your behaviour was really quite acceptable, all things considered.

-        This rationalizing keeps your negative emotions alive.

Rationalization and justification always require that you make someone or something else the source or cause of your problem.  You cast yourself in the role of the victim, and you make the other person or organization into the oppressor, or the “bad guy.”

3)      The third cause of negative emotions is an over concern or HYPERSENSITIVITY to the way other people treat you.

For some people, their entire self-image is determined by the way other people speak to them, talk to them or about them, or even look at them. They have little sense of personal value or self-worth apart from the opinions of others, and if those opinions are negative for any reason, real or imagined, the “victim” immediately experiences anger, embarrassment, shame, feelings of inferiority and even depression, self-pity and despair.  

This explains why psychologists say that almost everything we do is to earn the respect of others, or at least to avoid losing their respect.

4)      The fourth cause of negative emotions, and the worst of all, is BLAMING.  From now on, refuse to blame anyone for anything - past, present or future. 

As Eleanor Roosevelt said,

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.

Buddy Hacket, the comedian, once said,

“I never hold grudges because while you’re holding grudges, they’re out dancing!”

It is only when you free yourself from negative emotions, by taking complete responsibility that you can begin to set and achieve goals in every area of your life.

It is only when you are free, mentally and emotionally, that you can begin to channel your energies and enthusiasms in a forward direction.

This is why, without the acceptance of complete personal responsibility, no progress is possible.  On the other hand, once you accept total responsibility for your life, there are no limits on what you can be, do and have.

Positive emotions of happiness, excitement, love and enthusiasm make you feel more powerful and confident. Negative emotions of anger, hurt or blame weaken you and make you hostile, irritable and unpleasant to be around.

Once you decide to accept complete responsibility for yourself, your situation, and for everything that happens to you, you can turn confidently toward your education and the affairs of your life.

Ultimately, you will be able to fulfil your God given dreams and desires.

IN JESUS’ NAME,

AMEN.

By Ndimofor Aretas

Monday, 28/12/2015

(For the week of 28^th December – 31^st December 2015)

Sources of some of the points:

Goals! How to Get Everything You Want — Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible by Brian Tracy